S5E25: It’s not about where we’re not good enough
Full transcript:
Good morning, happy Friday and welcome to the Language Confidence Project, the daily dose of language courage for those who love languages and those who really don’t, but have to learn one anyway. And today I’m just popping in with some wisdom from a money and business coach called Ray Dodd (IG: Ray_dodd), who I met at the Neurodiverse Entrepreneurs Summit where she was speaking this summer, she’s been live on Instagram every day this week, and she said something that I just thought was so perfect, that I thought you all NEED to hear this. She was talking about some of the issues of growing in business and having good and bad years and she said something that stopped me in my tracks and I wanted to share it with you today.
She said “we’re making it about where we’re not good enough”.
“We’re making it about where we’re not good enough”.
And I thought YES, you are so right.
And so language learners, I wanted to ask you today, how many things do you blame yourself for in your language learning that are just… part of language learning? How many times do you see the things that happen as part of the process – the obstacles, the frustrations, the good and the bad language days, and immediately turn on parts of your personality or your brain or your life that you think are lacking or just not good enough?
And here are just some of the examples that I see so often playing out in my community.
It’s normal to forget words. That’s why every language learner plays around with memory techniques, apps, methods to retain the vocabulary they learn. And if the language changes and the words are really different, maybe they’re really short or vastly different from their native language, or tonal, they have to go on that journey all over again.
It's normal to make basic grammar mistakes when we’re speaking and writing. Even as an advanced learner.
It’s normal to have peaks and troughs in our motivation. That’s why The Language Confidence Project exists, and it’s why people seek out communities and accountability partners and join 30 day challenges and try all sorts of habits and hacks.
So why do we all tell ourselves so many stories about what those things mean for us as a person? Why do we let these things, that everyone experiences, latch onto stories about our social or career failures, the things some mean classmates said when we were thirteen, and spin us narratives about our work ethic, our potential?
Language learning really is hard and it’s going to test so many aspects of your memory and your personality and your habit forming. But the thing it tests the most is how much you stand by yourself when it’s hard. You aren’t struggling because you aren’t good enough, you’re struggling because it’s hard and everyone struggles. If you’re looking at someone and it seems to be coming effortlessly to them, and let’s assume you’re right and they genuinely aren’t having the same difficulties you are, it’s probably because they’ve been on some journeys that you haven’t embarked on yet… they’ve explored the memory techniques, the routines, the resources that best work for them, either with another language, or a whole other adventure learning a completely unrelated very big and very new thing. But nobody, and I mean, nobody, is a magnet for all the best practices from the start. And everyone has to grow into learning and speaking and living in their new language.
So language learners, go into the process expecting that for yourself too. These obstacles are not about your failures or your flaws, they’re just a part of the process. You can do this, with the brain you have, with the personality you have, with the life you have, and with the language you chose or that chose you… this is possible for you. So be kind to yourselves.
Have a wonderful day, and a wonderful weekend, and I will see you at 7am UK time on Monday.
You can find more of Ray's work at IG: @ray_dodd or visit her website: www.raydodd.co.uk