S5E34: It doesn’t all have to be hard

Full transcript:

Good morning, happy Thursday and welcome to the LCP, the daily dose of language courage for those who love languages and those who really don’t, but have to learn one anyway. And today, if you’re finding your language learning is really getting to you, I want to share something I have experienced lately in setting up the Language Confidence Project that I really hope will be valuable for you too.

And that is, when you’re expecting things to be hard, when you’ve been told it’s just a given, universally, that they’re going to be hard, or stressful, it’s really frighteningly easy to make them harder than they need to be.

And that’s because, with some things, we know right from the start that struggle is going to be wired in. Learning the language, writing the thesis, starting the business, because we go in expecting an uphill struggle, we let down the filter. We resign ourselves to the fact that it’s an intrinsically hard thing to do, and then, unwittingly, we welcome all the unpleasantness in.

We just let other stresses and doubts and resistances attach and carry them without question. We keep doing the things that don’t really suit us and don’t even think to look for an easier way, because we just assume it’s all part of the process.

And when we think “why is it so difficult, why is it so uncomfortable, so frustrating” all the inner voices pipe up. What, did you expect it to be easy? How entitled. What, did you expect it to be faster? So impatient, this journey takes time. And those voices guilt us out of even trying to make things better for ourselves, because of course it’s hard, and if we were strong enough, brave enough, we’d just tolerate it until we were good enough.

And so if this is you today, I just want to remind you that those voices are wrong. You 100% have the right to make this journey easier on yourself, and more fun to be on. Finding the shortcuts, increasing your efficiency and doing whatever you can to make this experience enjoyable, it’s not cheating. It’s not a worse or watered down version of the hard journey you were promised, it’s a better one. And it’s one that’s more sustainable. And it’s one that’s more suited to you. 

I know how many people out there are sending the message, day after day, that worthwhile things are hard. But that doesn’t mean we have to pile on difficulty that doesn’t need to be there. And we can’t ever stop evaluating what exactly is hard, finding those sources of friction on the wheel, and looking for better ways. We don’t need to tolerate all difficulty just because some difficulty is inherent in the process.

It's okay to enjoy learning your language. It’s okay to find some bits of it easy and I hope you find lots of bits of it easy. It’s okay to just decide after struggling with something for a while that you’ve pushed hard enough for today and you’re going to take a break or do something else. It’s okay to look forward to projects or topics you’re working on. It’s okay to finish your studies for the day and still have a clear head and some energy to spare. None of those things are a sign you’re not working hard enough. They’re a sign of balance and a sign of wellbeing and they should be celebrated.

Have a wonderful day, and I will see you tomorrow.