S6E9: “Just act normal!”
Full transcript:
Good morning, happy Thursday and welcome to the Language Confidence Project, the daily dose of language courage for people who love languages and those who really don’t, but have to learn one anyway. And just a reminder that the Language Confidence Project is now on YouTube as well, with daily videos to inspire your language learning and to just help you make the process more creative, more fulfilling, and more compassionate. And today, if you are worried that everyone here has is following this huge unwritten code and you don’t know it, this is the episode for you!
I saw a meme a long time ago that said “starting a new job is so embarrassing for no reason” and someone replied “it’s like being a new character on season 5 of a TV show”. And actually, I think that’s quite a fantastic metaphor for being new at any new place, any new community, whether it’s in person or online. There’s always that question of
“How do I just not be weird here?”
And there’s so much to learn. Names, technical words for things, acronyms. What are the social customs and etiquette rules here? What’s this in-joke that people keep making?
So, if you are worried that you’re going to stand out or you don’t know how to be a language learner, these are my tips:
1) Ask lots of questions
If you don’t know, ask. Ask in person, ask on forums, read posts or watch videos and comment with your questions and people will get back to you! Don’t be afraid to ask things that you think everyone else will think it’s obvious, because so often, those questions benefit everyone and give everyone something to think about. Ask about the best ways to do things, the best resources, the best conferences, ask where people go to practise their languages, ask how people are dealing with certain things you’re struggling with. Ask, and be the person that other people can ask too!
2) Find your people
The thing with asking, which was of course tip number one, is that you might end up with a whole range of responses. And some of those responses might be quite polarised, strong opinions about how things ought to be done. And that can feel really uncomfortable, like there’s one right way and then a ton of wrong ways or mistakes. But if there are differing opinions, even if there are strong emotions around them, all it’s telling you is that you’ve reached a fork in the road, language learners don’t all agree on this, and you as a person who is carving their own path, can go in the direction that aligns the most with your needs and your values. The truth is, for so many language learning questions, there are a lot of answers, so it’s just a matter of trying things out and finding people like you to help you do that. The more you can find likeminded people, with crossovers in everything and anything, personality, life philosophies, hobbies, personal circumstances, and it doesn’t need to be one person who’s basically your kindred spirit, it can be loads of different people that intersect with you in one key way, the easier it is to say “what things work for people like us?” “what’s good for people like us” “who is the most welcoming, or accommodating or effective” for people like us”. Find places and people that let you be the most you when you’re learning your language.
3) Memes are really helpful
If you want to learn a culture, memes are incredibly helpful at getting some insights that far outweigh the “what not to do” pages of a tourist guide. Memes are great! They highlight people’s struggles and frustrations, they showcase the everyday thoughts of language learners and what it’s like to be them, they point out the quirks and eccentricities we have, they establish a community around certain methods or apps, and every fragment of the “relatable” is absolute gold dust when it comes to putting together a mental picture of what people care about in a community.
4) If something feels off, it probably is
When we’re new, it’s often harder to say no, but you can still trust your instincts here.
Don’t be more accommodating than you can afford, in terms of your time, your energy, your money or your boundaries, just because you’re new here.
Don’t accept things that feel wrong just because you’re new here.
Don’t let yourself be disrespected just because you’re new here.
The language learning community has so many different types of people in it, people who are learning languages for all kinds of reasons, in so many different ways, and people are always looking for new ways of doing things and new ways of thinking about their language learning. There is space for you. You belong here, language learners, and you will find people like you.
Have a wonderful day, and as ever, don’t forget to check out my YouTube channel, for even more daily language courage, the link is in the shownotes. I will see you tomorrow.