S4E36: Are your questions working for you or against you?
Full transcript:
Good morning, happy Monday, and welcome to the Language Confidence Project, the daily dose of language courage for people who love languages, and those who really don’t, but have to learn one anyway. And today, I have a really important question for you, about the questions that you are asking yourselves.
And that is, are your questions empowering you, or are they sending you into more fog or self-doubt?
Because I know that so many of you who listen to the Language Confidence Project, and I’ve spoken to a lot of you, are really curious people who love to better understand the language learning process, and that that can teach us about learning in general and what it can teach us about ourselves. Whenever we’re doing something new or difficult it’s so important that we keep asking questions, keep reevaluating the process and the tools we’re using and making sure everything still fits. Questioning is so, so important. But it also has the power to make or break us. So I’ve been thinking about this, and I’ve been watching my own thought patterns for a very long time especially through journaling, and this is what I’ve noticed.
Some of the questions we ask are really helpful and constructive, and open up a whole load of possibilities for growth. Other questions we ask keep us confused, keep us stuck, and sap our energy. But so often, they’re mixed up together, so it’s really hard to separate them out.
These are the sorts of questions that keep us stuck.
Why is language kearning so hard? Will I ever succeed? Why is this so much harder for me than everyone else? How long until I’m fluent? Why aren’t I where I should be? Why am I so behind? Why am I stupid? Why the hell can’t I remember vocabulary?
Those kinds of questions are almost designed to send you spiralling. Your brain responds with rumination… all the reasons why language learning is not just hard but horrible, and how you didn’t really want to do it anyway. It provides lists of reasons why you’re less well-equipped to learn a language than anyone else around you, which of course justifies why you’re so impossibly behind that you could never hope to catch up. And any question that starts “why the hell” or any equivalent, even if the question is really constructive, for a lot of us, we don’t interpret it as an open question with practical solutions, but as an attack.
This is how we can translate exactly the same thoughts into questions that can empower us and lead us to searchable queries and hopefully, solutions.
Why is language learning so hard? Why is this so much harder for me than everyone else? – How can I address whatever specific difficulty that’s getting in the way right now? What advice can I find about that specific thing?
How long until I’m fluent? – what does fluent look like for me, and how can I reverse engineer that?
Why aren’t I where I should be? Why am I so behind? Why the hell can’t I remember vocabulary? – How does our memory work? What techniques can I find to help me memorise vocabulary?
So if there’s one takeaway from this episode, language learners, it’s that questions are powerful, but they can be used to push your forward or keep you stuck in equal measure. So it’s so, so important to ask questions that are fair to you, that are kind to you, and that will take you by the hand and lead you to solutions. When the other, confidence-eroding questions come up, just notice them. Notice what they’re doing and where they’re trying to take you. Because you don’t have to go there with them.
And if you like what I do, please support me! The Language Confidence project is growing and all sorts of exciting things are happening in the next few months, and I need your help to make all of this happen. There are so many ways that you could lend a hand right now. If you know someone who would benefit from listening to this podcast, send them a quick message with the episode attached. If you work in or know someone in a language school or a university language department, please suggest this podcast for both them and their students. If you can and you want to, support me on Patreon, because I have a Patreon now, and the link is in my bio! And finally, if you’re new around here or I haven’t met you yet, or come and talk to me! Leave a comment on today’s episode on a positit on Instagram, send me a DM, or even better, book a call as part of the 100 Conversations Project with me! The link to that is also in my Instagram bio at @teawithemily. I would love to hear from you.
Have a wonderful day, and I will see you tomorrow.